Musing Out Loud

Before I decided to write this post, I read a couple of blogs, no, make that about 4 or 5.

I was both amazed and surprised with what I gleaned from those posts...Niel Nino Lim, my Kabird, my daughter's ninong, my kumpare, my classmate, my friend... Who passed away last Sunday night, February 5 2012, at the age of 27, was a 'revered' professor by his students, a fiery man of principles and insight, and a 'ladies man' of all things!

To us, his college barkada, his Kabirds... he was just Niel.

Niel who climbed a papaya tree during P.E classes, Niel who shot invisible webs from his hands ala-Spiderman during class, Niel who came to class one day with his scotch-taped eyeglasses dahil tinangay ng hangin yung salamin nya, Niel whose hair seemed to have a life of its own, Niel who ran alongside our pedicab in Intramuros because he said na kaya namang lakarin palabas ng Intramuros from Bahay Tsinoy even if it was super hot that day, Niel who jumped from floor to ceiling (well, almost ceiling) onstage as he played the 'frog' during our play Once on This Island, Niel who again jumped from the center of the 'Athena' fountain (sa Espana side ng Uste) to its edge, Niel who tried to portray Hannibal during charades by forming the letter H with his body, Niel who cannot do a wacky shot, Niel who crushed on two of his own kabarkadas back in college, Niel who's the hot topic of jokes during our conversations during our college days, and in every coffee or dinners together that we had for the past seven years after we graduated...

That was the Niel I knew. After we graduated, our group of friends would normally have coffee or dinner together at least twice a year, every year for the past seven years. He would always be in attendance, and he would just laugh and smile as we reminisce and joke about his crazy, silly antics. The past couple of years though, our conversations started to get a little mature. About time it did really. :-)

We talked about his students mostly, his teaching career, UST, politics, the economy...the world according to Niel. He told us about asking his students to bring typewriters in spite of the school's mandate that it should no longer be required. He wanted them to learn how to write, the way we did back in college. Formulating leads and putting 500-word stories together in a span of 30 minutes.  He told us about his frustrations with their work. He told us about how different students are nowadays.

But what he actually wanted to tell us, without saying a word about it, is that he loved teaching, and he loved his students. And though I know he might have been the 'terror prof' when he was alive, I think his students are now starting to appreciate his efforts. Success my friend...success! :-)

My fellow kabirds and I have so many great memories with Niel that it would probably take an entire magazine issue to tell people about all of them.


Hay. I never expected to blog about Niel in this light. I was expecting for the longest time that I'd write about him as a Senator of this country, or even as President of the Philippines. He seemed to be on that road after all, and he was doing a great job. But the road seemed to have gotten short for our Kuya Niel. Unexpectedly short.

Niel wasn't a man of dramatics. He hated it.

But I do remember that one day...I just broke up with a boyfriend back in college (sino na nga ulit yon?). I was sitting in one of the pavilions beside our building (the one beside the clinic. forgot what the place is called now). I was crying alone, sharing space with mosquitoes.

Niel came from out of nowhere (came from a meeting or something I guess.), and asked me if I needed someone to talk to. I wanted to be alone then. :( I remember him giving me a Mitch Albom book and a strawberry cheesecake from Bizu (sosyal lang. hahahaha) on my birthday. :-)

Those, I think, are two of Niel's very very very rare 'dramatic'/ emotional moments (if you can call it that). And these are two of my fondest memories of him too.



I feel honored, somehow.

That the Niel I knew was like a little boy, a quirky, silly, awkward guy who loved debates and intellectual conversations. That the Niel I knew had a 'before-meal stretching ritual'. With us, Niel let his guard down. That with us Niel was not afraid to show his weaknesses, his disappointments, his frustrations.

That he loved us so much, that he was not afraid to show us how vulnerable and imperfect he can be.

Thank you Niel for hoisting me up during our Once On This Island play (good for you magaan pa ko non.), thank you for the Bizu cake and the book, thank you for showing us how high you can jump and that you can torture a papaya tree by simply climbing it, thank you for our conversations over coffee, thank you for letting us joke about you and laugh about you, thank you for being my daughter's ninong, thank you for not sharing your bowl of lomi from Kanin Club, thank you for being the best professor a Journ student can have, thank you for being active with your advocacy, thank you for being a man of principles, thank you... for being a friend. 


And I'm sorry for all my shortcomings. For all the times that we weren't there for you when you needed us. I read your livejournal blog last night, read most of the entries circa 2008, I think that was when you were in Grad school, and I realized just how much you've grown from the Niel we knew back in college... 


I am proud to have been a part of your life my friend. I am proud to have been one of 'the girls in Niel's life'. I am proud to have been one of the people who made you laugh. I am proud to have known Niel Lim personally. 


I won't say goodbye. I haven't accepted the fact that I have to...Maybe I'll just have to wait for my turn to cross over, and then I'll just have to say hello to you. 


So no goodbyes my friend. No goodbyes. :-)


And alam kong hindi ako 'to if I don't say this:


Panalo ka friend, ikaw na ang dinalaw ni Junjun Binay, nagkaron ng mini-reunion ang AB-Journalism classes dahil sayo, at bonggang bonggang almost mini-reunion din ng first JRN1 class ever ng AB, as in after 7 years! 


At kung nasa langit ka man ngayon, siguraduhin mo na na kakain ka ng maayos at terror prof ka pa din na may matinding prinsipyo. For sure naman may aircon dyan and well-lit... at hindi ka nila serve-an ng pilipit instead of french fries. Puede ka ding maglakad ng walang humpay tapos hindi ka na mapapagod. :-)


At Niel... wag kalimutang tumalon ng mataas! :-)

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