Musing Out Loud

Before I decided to write this post, I read a couple of blogs, no, make that about 4 or 5.

I was both amazed and surprised with what I gleaned from those posts...Niel Nino Lim, my Kabird, my daughter's ninong, my kumpare, my classmate, my friend... Who passed away last Sunday night, February 5 2012, at the age of 27, was a 'revered' professor by his students, a fiery man of principles and insight, and a 'ladies man' of all things!

To us, his college barkada, his Kabirds... he was just Niel.

Niel who climbed a papaya tree during P.E classes, Niel who shot invisible webs from his hands ala-Spiderman during class, Niel who came to class one day with his scotch-taped eyeglasses dahil tinangay ng hangin yung salamin nya, Niel whose hair seemed to have a life of its own, Niel who ran alongside our pedicab in Intramuros because he said na kaya namang lakarin palabas ng Intramuros from Bahay Tsinoy even if it was super hot that day, Niel who jumped from floor to ceiling (well, almost ceiling) onstage as he played the 'frog' during our play Once on This Island, Niel who again jumped from the center of the 'Athena' fountain (sa Espana side ng Uste) to its edge, Niel who tried to portray Hannibal during charades by forming the letter H with his body, Niel who cannot do a wacky shot, Niel who crushed on two of his own kabarkadas back in college, Niel who's the hot topic of jokes during our conversations during our college days, and in every coffee or dinners together that we had for the past seven years after we graduated...

That was the Niel I knew. After we graduated, our group of friends would normally have coffee or dinner together at least twice a year, every year for the past seven years. He would always be in attendance, and he would just laugh and smile as we reminisce and joke about his crazy, silly antics. The past couple of years though, our conversations started to get a little mature. About time it did really. :-)

We talked about his students mostly, his teaching career, UST, politics, the economy...the world according to Niel. He told us about asking his students to bring typewriters in spite of the school's mandate that it should no longer be required. He wanted them to learn how to write, the way we did back in college. Formulating leads and putting 500-word stories together in a span of 30 minutes.  He told us about his frustrations with their work. He told us about how different students are nowadays.

But what he actually wanted to tell us, without saying a word about it, is that he loved teaching, and he loved his students. And though I know he might have been the 'terror prof' when he was alive, I think his students are now starting to appreciate his efforts. Success my friend...success! :-)

My fellow kabirds and I have so many great memories with Niel that it would probably take an entire magazine issue to tell people about all of them.


Hay. I never expected to blog about Niel in this light. I was expecting for the longest time that I'd write about him as a Senator of this country, or even as President of the Philippines. He seemed to be on that road after all, and he was doing a great job. But the road seemed to have gotten short for our Kuya Niel. Unexpectedly short.

Niel wasn't a man of dramatics. He hated it.

But I do remember that one day...I just broke up with a boyfriend back in college (sino na nga ulit yon?). I was sitting in one of the pavilions beside our building (the one beside the clinic. forgot what the place is called now). I was crying alone, sharing space with mosquitoes.

Niel came from out of nowhere (came from a meeting or something I guess.), and asked me if I needed someone to talk to. I wanted to be alone then. :( I remember him giving me a Mitch Albom book and a strawberry cheesecake from Bizu (sosyal lang. hahahaha) on my birthday. :-)

Those, I think, are two of Niel's very very very rare 'dramatic'/ emotional moments (if you can call it that). And these are two of my fondest memories of him too.



I feel honored, somehow.

That the Niel I knew was like a little boy, a quirky, silly, awkward guy who loved debates and intellectual conversations. That the Niel I knew had a 'before-meal stretching ritual'. With us, Niel let his guard down. That with us Niel was not afraid to show his weaknesses, his disappointments, his frustrations.

That he loved us so much, that he was not afraid to show us how vulnerable and imperfect he can be.

Thank you Niel for hoisting me up during our Once On This Island play (good for you magaan pa ko non.), thank you for the Bizu cake and the book, thank you for showing us how high you can jump and that you can torture a papaya tree by simply climbing it, thank you for our conversations over coffee, thank you for letting us joke about you and laugh about you, thank you for being my daughter's ninong, thank you for not sharing your bowl of lomi from Kanin Club, thank you for being the best professor a Journ student can have, thank you for being active with your advocacy, thank you for being a man of principles, thank you... for being a friend. 


And I'm sorry for all my shortcomings. For all the times that we weren't there for you when you needed us. I read your livejournal blog last night, read most of the entries circa 2008, I think that was when you were in Grad school, and I realized just how much you've grown from the Niel we knew back in college... 


I am proud to have been a part of your life my friend. I am proud to have been one of 'the girls in Niel's life'. I am proud to have been one of the people who made you laugh. I am proud to have known Niel Lim personally. 


I won't say goodbye. I haven't accepted the fact that I have to...Maybe I'll just have to wait for my turn to cross over, and then I'll just have to say hello to you. 


So no goodbyes my friend. No goodbyes. :-)


And alam kong hindi ako 'to if I don't say this:


Panalo ka friend, ikaw na ang dinalaw ni Junjun Binay, nagkaron ng mini-reunion ang AB-Journalism classes dahil sayo, at bonggang bonggang almost mini-reunion din ng first JRN1 class ever ng AB, as in after 7 years! 


At kung nasa langit ka man ngayon, siguraduhin mo na na kakain ka ng maayos at terror prof ka pa din na may matinding prinsipyo. For sure naman may aircon dyan and well-lit... at hindi ka nila serve-an ng pilipit instead of french fries. Puede ka ding maglakad ng walang humpay tapos hindi ka na mapapagod. :-)


At Niel... wag kalimutang tumalon ng mataas! :-)

I was in a really bright mood this morning.

My little girl's feeling better, slight fever's gone, hubby's starting work on the day shift after 8 years of being on graveyard shift, and I am finally rid of my insomnia, got new assignments from a client...so yeah, my day was pretty much starting out nicely.

Well until I talked to someone on the phone (a relative) who's not in such a gleeful mood. I hate it when it happens.

I always try to start my day with a smile and positive thoughts - helps me face the many challenges, issues, and stress I encounter throughout the day. But I think it's inevitable, that no matter how I try to steer clear of negativity, it finds its way to me from a variety of avenues.

First, there's Facebook. 

I'm logged on to the site most of the day, and about 75% of the time I get the day's dose of nega vibes off it. Some are pretty ok, people complaining about the day's 'down moments' - which is perfectly fine, as we all have those every now and then. But what I simply cannot tolerate - is the parinigs and all-out BS.

Though they may not be directed at me, reading them gets to my nerves. I don't know, ever since I worked online and had no officemates, my tolerance for these things have been on a low. Maybe because I know that it doesn't necessarily have to be part of everyday life (like it is for some people), that one can survive a day (and more!) without it.

And somehow, even though I'm guilty of it at times, I don't think it's right to air your 'dirty laundry' online. If you're fighting with someone, then keep it off social networking sites simply because it 'spreads' the negative energy to people who read it. And besides, it won't 'solve' anything, or make you the better person. It actually  just opens up a bigger can of worms.

I understand that a Facebook wall may be a great sounding board, a way to let people know you're going through something good (or bad), but I hope people are more 'thoughtful' of the things they post. But of course, there's freedom of speech, so if you want to cuss like crazy on your wall, or make it known that your the head b**ch, then go ahead. Be ready for others' opinion of you though, they won't always be sweet. :) What you post on your wall reflects the personality that you want other people to know about - so think twice  before you click.

Second, there's the daily news. 


News channels are great sources of information. That is until they start showing the day's happenings that are related to politics... Ahhhh, it's most of the time just plain ol' dirty politicking. Nakakainis! As if the country doesn't have enough pressing concerns to deal with, our dear government officials actually exert time and effort to meddle with concerns that can be dealt with by just a specific department (Gloria Arroyo's health for one.).

I know there are government officials out there who are doing their jobs, who are actually trying to make a difference by doing good...why don't we put them on the news? Don't they rightfully deserve airtime too? Or...is that just too boring? If it is, I'd rather be bored to death.

Third, there's the up close and personal bad trip encounters. 


Most of the day, I just stay at home with my family, and spend most of it with my daughter. My little girl may be a restless toddler whose everyday aim is to discover the world, and she may get makulit and restless, but she's never a source of negative energy. I couldn't say the same about the rest of the world though.

When we go out to the mall or eat at a resto, I hate it when I encounter staff who greet you with a sour face and answer back with a not-so-nice tone. Though of course I understand they're also human and may be having a really long day, there are times that the frown transforms to an ugly attitude - and that's when I let them know. I can't resist the urge to ask 'Ate/Kuya may problema ba tayo?' whenever you deal with them nicely and they answer back with a defying and angry tone. I know some customers can be difficult, but I tell you, working in that industry has taught me that being snarky yourself, will not make them nicer. :)  Be firm, explain in a calm tone, and don't forget to end it with a genuine smile - no angry customer who's blowing off steam will not soften up to a staff/customer service personnel who knows how to handle stress with a smile.



Haaaay...inasmuch as I want to keep the positive energy going around me, I think having some nega vibe around me is just inevitable. But still, I will work hard to ensure that I end the day the way I started it - with a smile and positive thoughts. :)

Like they say, all's well that ends well.

I'm waiting for the pasta to boil for my chicken sopas... and I suddenly feel this urge to do a Part 2 on Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part 2... :)

Hubby and I watched the movie last weekend, caught the last full show in a not-so-popular-but-still-digital 3D cinema (in short Starmall - Las Pinas. hehe). This was one of the few movies we watched quite early, since we usually watch a movie like a week or two after it premiered. But I have a soft spot for Harry Potter, so I wanted to make sure I get to watch it as soon as I can.

(By the way, we're really enjoying watching blockbuster movies there. No long lines, free popcorn and water, cool enough aircon, comfortable seats, and clean cinema. Not to mention it's just a 10-minute drive from home, parking space is not a problem, and there's a nearby 24-hour McDonald's and a Starbucks. :))

The experience was quite different for me and hubby, I had read (and reread twice over) the book, he hasn't. And for this particular installment of the Harry Potter series, reading the book made the world of a difference. Hubby enjoyed the movie for what he saw, I enjoyed it for what I knew the real essence of the story was.

And this blog lives!

I had to 'revive' this blog because I wanted to properly 'segregate' my posts. Keisha stuff goes to the Keisha blog, and party stuff of course, goes to the 'party' blog.

This blog then...is for everything else. :-)

A typhoon visited the country last week and brought in a significant amount of rain. But this week, is definitely worse. It's been raining like crazy since Monday, and if I remember it right, I've only seen sunshine for a total of three hours for five days! Typhoon Falcon is creating havoc all over the metro. Lucky me though, I don't have to commute or drive to get to work. But I salute those who brave the murky flood waters, the jampacked slick roads, and the cold weather, just to report to work.

Gray days like these make me think of soooo many things, especially when I'm in such a gray mood due to some financial problems (which I'd rather not talk about). So as much as possible, I try to fill my head with happy thoughts. And recently, my favorite thing to daydream about is: my church wedding.

Hubby and I had our civil ceremony last 2007. It was biglaan since I got pregnant a couple of months back, so we didn't really have much time to prepare for it. And unfortunately, I found out I had a blighted ovum and would have to be scheduled for a D&C.

Ever since then, I have been dreaming of having my own church wedding ceremony. I really don't want anything of grand proportions, but I want it to have beautiful details. As of now, the only theme that's been on my mind is a Victorian-themed wedding.

The Victorian era's elegance, detailed gowns, and grand balls have always enthralled me. Take this picture for example:



The richness in detail, the opulence, the sensuality and femininity of the dress style...ohhh, it really amazes me. And from the looks of it, these aren't even wedding dresses yet. I'm thinking of having a wedding dress in the style of the girl on the furthest right of the picture, the one whose dress has a shade of pink. But I'll tone it down on some of the details, to make it look more modern. And perhaps with a fewer layers (I still want to be able to walk down the aisle without losing 10 pounds), but still definitely in a ball-gown style.

I've always thought I wanted pink as part of the color scheme of my wedding, but I've since changed my mind. Recently, I've been enamored by anything purple. From what I've read, clothes from the Victorian era were mostly in rich colors and jewel tones of green, ruby, maroon, blue, etc. Here are the color schemes I'm crushing on right now: 

Purple and maroon

Silver, Midnight Blue, and Purple

I'm quite partial to the second set of colors as I like the contrast between the three, and I can already imagine them in the venue and the decor. I want an evening wedding in an indoor setting, but with a garden outside for cocktails and some dancing. :-)

In fact, I already have a venue in mind.

Before we had our civil ceremony, hubby and I were making plans of having our church ceremony the next year, so we went to this one venue that was recommended to us: Villa de Oro, situated on the border of Tagaytay and Silang. It has sprawling grounds, with a garden, a chapel, and reception hall, and the mansion where guests can stay overnight. The basic package is at 55,000 for 24 hours use of facilities which include the following:
 (SOURCE: Villa de Oro website, rates page.)

• Usage of the Garden area and Villa de Oro grounds
• Main Function Hall
• Dining Hall
• Parking and Security
• Venue rental begins from (ingress, setup, event proper, to egress) 24 hours

I believe the basic package already includes the use of the master's bedroom, but I think there is an extra charge if you want to rent out other rooms for guests who want to stay overnight. There are additional wedding amenities that Villa de Oro offers, and you can find the details on their website.

I personally liked their reception/event hall, and the garden. I think it would be the perfect setting for a Victorian-themed wedding, especially when it's decorated already. Here's a photo of the reception hall that I took when we went there:

The reception hall

Inside the reception hall. Love the drapes. :)

The tables and chairs...and the super nice chandeliers

The design of the reception hall itself is already complementary of the theme I have in mind. The chairs, the tables, the drapery, the chandeliers...and even the floor! A little more dress-up that's elegantly done will make it even more beautiful (I've seen the work of this caterer and the venue dress-up that they do, I'm guessing they can make this place the Victorian hall I have envisioned in my mind. :-)).

Anyway, I'm getting carried away with my daydreaming. Today may be a rainy day, but there's still much that I have to accomplish, and I have no reason to slack off. Time is money in my world. :-)

So let me leave my Victorian wedding day dreams...for now.

Back to the real world.

I am a coffee fan.

I don't go to Starbucks or any other coffee shop just because it creates a 'cool' image of me. I go to coffee shops because I need my coffee fix. Plain and simple. So I am as enthusiastic to drink brewed coffee from Dunkin Donuts as I am about drinking a cup of peppermint mocha from Starbucks. There's quite some difference with the taste of course, and the ambiance, but it's coffee all the same. :)

Anyway, this morning, I went to Greenbelt with my family (I also don't get it when people say 'fam' instead of family. Sorry, I'm maarte with things like that.). Hubby met up with some of his long-time friends from where we used to work. He tagged me and Keisha along because he knows I love Landmark.

So, I had my coffee fix that morning at Starbucks while we were waiting for hubby's friends. :) And Keisha...well... Keisha had her first taste of an expensive drink, the strawberries and cream frap, and I think she loved it (because she wouldn't stop drinking it. Had to literally pry her fingers from her strong hold on the cup). I got myself a few sips, it kinda tasted like Potchi. :) No wonder Keisha enjoyed it. Hehe. And oh, the drink wasn't for Keisha of course (ano sya masaya? :) ), it was for Ate Helen. 

While we were there, I made a decision. We would never make going to Starbucks a family habit. I mean no offense to families who do... but I think there are better places where families can actually enjoy time together, especially if they're going with kids who aren't old enough to indulge in coffee. There are better places for juice. And there's frozen yogurt. :)

Anyway... after that and lunch, I went to my shopping haven in Makati...the Landmark. Nope, not Greenbelt (too expensive) or Glorietta (choices there are too limited now. :( ) or Rockwell. I love the Landmark because of their many inexpensive product choices, especially for women's and kid's stuff. As much as I want branded toys and clothes and shoes for my little one... I feel that she outgrows all that in a matter of weeks, so why buy a top for 700 pesos when I can get one for 200? :) I can spend the rest of the change on milk pa. Hehe. Pero kung bibigyan sya ng branded, wala naman problema. Kasi ginusto yon ng nagbigay. :)

My only problem with Landmark is, dahil mura nga, I felt so tempted to buy so many stuff. So what I do is, walk around with the stuff I chose, and ponder on whether it's a practical choice or not. After probably an hour of walking around with them,  if I can't let the item go, that means they're worth buying. Usually I start off with 10 items, and I end up buying only half of the stash.

So proud to be able to exercise self control on shopping. Ang hirap non ah! :) And it's not because we don't have the money for it, we just don't budget that much for it dahil mahirap masanay.

Money comes and goes nowadays, it's just so crazy. So if you can be happy with simple things, then that's way better than being satisfied only with pricey stuff. The latter is happiness that's way too magastos to maintain. Hehe.

I won't be hypocritical and say I don't want expensive things. I mean, who doesn't? I can't deny the fact that there really are expensive stuff that are worth buying. But most of the time, mas madami yung meron namang less expensive alternative. :)


So, although life is short, we shouldn't really go around spending money like there's no tomorrow.  Because most likely, there will be a next day. And mas mahirap tumulala. :)

When I think of time management? I get a headache. :)

Kidding aside though, time management is really a challenge for me. Ever since I started schooling, I have struggled to finish my assignments a few hours before class starts. I think I may be an adrenaline junkie! :) Although I do get away with it, I mean I still get good results... Cramming is not really a great habit. It takes time away from more important, or in some cases, more fun things to do.

So, this would not be a blog on how to manage your time. I am obviously not one to preach about it. Hehe.

But I do know it's important, and that it would benefit me greatly. Now if only I can manage the 'how' part of it... :)

I work flexi-time from home, with a goal of 40 hours per week. Sounds easy, eh? No. Well for me, not really. Working 8 hours, every day, when you're working from home with a 'demanding' husband and a cute and makulit tot, it's really not as easy as I want it to be.

When you work in an office setting, all you really do is, well, work. There may be distractions, but it's not like you can actually give in to them when you want to. Hehe. I used to work in a call center, and that environment does not encourage distractions. And even if you do get distracted, the best you can do, is just zone out, but you really can't just stop working.

Now that I'm working from home, I realized how much of a relief (and a burden sometimes), being a flexi-time worker is. I can stop and pause when I want to, go out to shop, go out with my family, go do things I want, whenever I want to.

I feel the urge to go out and shop really often, but that's one I make sure I don't give in to. Because even though we may have money to spend, I really wouldn't want to spend it all on my 'urge'. :)

It's really the 'minor' distractions that kills my timeline. Cooking lunch, Facebook-ing, digi-scrapping, watching TV, grabbing a snack, playing with Keisha (not really minor. :) I'd stop ANYTHING for her.) ....  And well, I realize that, heck, I still have hours to do before the workweek ends!

So anyway, this last Tuesday to Friday, I tried to work 8 hours a day, and triumph over most of my distractions. And I think I did kind of good! :) I only have 8 more hours to burn til early Monday morning. Unlike my past few weekends, I had to work like crazy over the weekend because I slacked off the entire week. All my fault though.

So there. Time management is key! And having said that....let me burn the remaining hours. Now. :)

My mom said that observing Halloween traditions is very un-Christian, because it's based on pagan beliefs. And I wouldn't contest the fact that she made a point somehow, but, what she said didn't stop me from enjoying the camarederie that 'Halloween' brings.

Here in the Philippines, Halloween is first and foremost, a legal holiday! :) And holidays translate to quality family time. Every October 31st to November 1st, throngs of families go to the cemeteries where their deceased loved ones are. Most of them stay there for almost the whole day to remember their family member that has passed on, and to spend some time with other relatives who are also visiting. I personally think there's nothing 'pagan' about the tradition. :) Families get to bond and remember good souls that have been part of their life. :)

Although of course, Halloween parties with ghouls, witches, and monsters are inevitable. We're too Westernized (in some aspects of our culture) that we just can't help but have our own version of the Halloween event too. Trick or treating here is usually a commercial event, mostly done in malls,  rather than a community event. Save maybe in some exclusive villages where this 'tradition' is observed.

I don't have ANY memory at all of going trick or treating anywhere, and somehow, I think it's quite alright because a lot of people in my generation and those before me, never experienced it either. However, now that children are more exposed to media and all those Halloween 'pluggings', with moms being more into social events, and with social networking sites flooded with people going 'Halloweening' somewhere... you just can't help but want to be part of all the fun. :)

This year, we didn't have Keisha participate in any Halloween event just yet. I know a lot of moms just adore seeing their kids in a Halloween costume, and trust me, I do too. :) It's just that I prefer that she be part of those kinds of events when she's already at that age when she would be able to enjoy it more... Maybe next year, or the year after that. Hehe.

But we did take the opportunity to get to spend some quality time with our families. We went out to have dinner with my dad and my brothers:

Dinner at David's Tea House

My princess checking out the candies I bought for her. :)

My pretty little chicken. Hahahaha!

Having some bubble fun! :)

No trick or treating, no Halloween party... but it was the best 'Undas' so far. :) Nothing else can make any event special the way spending time with family does. :)


Now next year might be a different story...and I just might get the little one her own Halloween costume! Yey!  :D